Steal The Rush

Ask Me Why I'm Geeked Out

2011-02-07T08:11:00.000-05:00

Our annual Disciple Now weekend is rollin' up real quick. The theme this year is Geeked Out. If you don't use this type of lingo, to be "geeked out" is to be totally obsessed with something most people find peculiar or of no value. So you ask why are we Geeked Out?

Then turning to the disciples [Jesus] said privately, "Blessed are the eyes that see what you see! For I tell you that many prophets and kings desired to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it." Luke 10:23-24

It's...(and by "It's" I mean all of existence, from galaxies down to gas in your stomach, from q-tips to Lil Wayne, from futbol to Abe Lincoln, from your innermost thoughts to Obama...EVERYTHING) is all about, only about, and always about Jesus. Most people (and I lump Christians into most people) would concede that Jesus has some value, but to be totally obsessed with Him and to exhaust every part of ourselves for Him seems to be a rarity. But that's what we are made to do, so for just over 36 hours we are gonna absolutely showcase Jesus and get buck wild for Him.

My students are already geeked out (at least over the event anyway). A couple of them made this hilarious video for promo on out Facebook fanpage, Geeked Out Dnow 2011.

Jesus=Shock Value

2011-01-05T22:01:00.000-05:00

Shock value defined is when something is communicated (written, spoken, or displayed) with the intent of grating against the dominate flow of what people consider acceptable. It is to arouse repugnance. I had a professor advise me once in regards to a title of one of my papers that there is no value in shock value. I would agree...but no I wouldn't. I'll qualify that: saying or doing something shocking just to amuse (which is to disengage the mind), irritate, or draw attention for the sake of attention, then it is probably worthless rhetoric. But if the unexpected exhibition spurs one out of delusion or into deeper realization of Truth, then there is an argument for it. This may be a shock in and of itself, but if Jesus used shock when he interacted with people, there has to be some value in it. Yes, Jesus, by his very nature is shock value. We, believers and unbelievers alike, are guilty of recycling caricatures of Jesus. We highlight one or a few attributes of Jesus neglecting, ignoring, or being completely unaware of others, thus making Jesus seem like a freak instead of the Jesus we read about in the Gospels. Proverbs tells us, "there is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death." Man's morality leads to death, and Jesus was ferociously violent towards man's "morality." Jesus was violent. He is violent. He is violent to our delusion as broken people. And immediately your mind and heart are blowing up with rebuttals. But consider that just like using shock to communicate is neither a good or bad thing, but depends on the motive, so are most things, including violence.

One instance Jesus is violent:

“If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them if a large millstone were hung around their neck and they were thrown into the sea." Mark 9:42

I'll unpack and defend this idea in the next post, but until then, know that Jesus' shock value in this verse is righting our delusion.

The Most Interesting Man in the World (most Tweetable quotes)

2010-12-30T21:45:00.001-05:00

Occasionally I've seen the Dos Equis commercials and always was like, "huh?" A co-worker showed me this video, and I was hooked on this bearded character. I can imagine I will use some of these quotes as tweets. Do you like? Dislike?

Paracord Preoccupation

2010-12-22T22:20:00.000-05:00

Sometime during the awkward ages of middle school I thought it was cool to wear hemp jewelry. I actually became decent at making it. I was shown a simple Solomon's Bar knot and was able to figure out variations to make all sorts of different style jewelry. Just recently I saw an ad on Facebook for survival bracelets and discovered a whole area of interest in paracord knot work. With my familiarity with making hemp jewelry and stalking this blog, my interest in knot work was reignited with my typical obsessive compulsive style...below are my first paracord pieces.

This is a woven and half-stitch pouch inspired from here.

This is a replacement watchband for my Luminox watch with a wide Genoese Zipper Sinnet, a shackle, and an Emerson Pewter skull bead.

I really enjoy messing around with decorative knots. Not sure most people get the fascination, but I know people must like the finished products since survival bracelets (which I could make in 20 minutes) sell for $25. Maybe this is a possible side-business venture?

Tangierman Love 'em Some Pigskin

2010-11-07T12:00:00.000-05:00

I have a Bachelor of Science in Speech Communications, and I think most graduates would attest to the reality that you forget the majority (or at least the specific details) of what you once learned to regurgitate on a test. I had this one particular professor who tested in what I consider the most challenging forms of testing. Some one argue a short essay test is the most difficult, but you can generally make crap up and still get a passing grade. This prof's tests where 100-150 questions with fill-in-the-blank answers with no word banks, no study guides, and no cheat sheets. She was expecting specific words; synonyms and abbreviations were marked wrong. She simply told us we could be tested on ANY of the content that was covered, from the text or any random thing she or another student contributed to the dialogue during the class lectures. Because of having to adjust my note taking and the way I processed and filed information, I think that I retained *and can access* more knowledge that I gained from her classes than any other. I remember in my Interpersonal Communications course we were studying the implications of dialect and she showed us a video clip of one of the most unique American dialects in the entire country, spoken among only just over 500 people on Tangier Island, Virginia. I have no ties to Tangier Island, but was intrigued that fellow Virginians have such a unique culture and dialect that is almost undiscerning as English at times. So when I saw this video on ESPN 3, I was particularly entertained because of my ties to communication studies. How cool is it that Tangier Island, population 507, is considered the Biggest Sports Town in American per capita all because of the introduction of high-speed connectivity? Ironic.

Layers of Meaning

2010-11-04T15:43:00.002-04:00

When the stars align in just the right way my wife and I seem to have the same taste in things...apparently I have a proclivity towards the odd, the unusual, the uncool, unfashionable, the ridiculous...I digress. My wife has a respectable balance in her music preferences while I typically am all or nothing in a particular genre. However, the stars are synced, and we are currently both enjoying the new 10 years album, Feeding the Wolves, and in particular the song, Don't Fight it. Listen and enjoy:

(Lyrics)

I don't share this hoping that you become a fan of 10 Years but rather because a scripture is always playing over and over in my head: For all things are yours, whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future—all are yours, and you are Christ’s, and Christ is God’s. 1 Cor 3:21-23 What this means is where ever, whenever, however, and whatever you notice is true *as lovers of Jesus* because we belong to Him, it belongs to us. Understanding this puts a lens of Redemption on our eyes...a filter of Redemption on our ears...an interpretation of Redemption on our hearts...

In our culture, the word "love" has so many miles put on it that it carries little if any weight...yet the concept in the ancient Hebrew culture was more than mere hormonal firings and flippant lingo, but a spiritual, emotional, and physical actuality with layered meaning between two real, raw people. Three Hebrew words designated to describe the scope of love: Ra'ah (pronounced "Ra-yah"), Ahavah (pronounced "Ah-ha-vah"), and Dod (pronounced "Dode").

Ra'ah means "companion", but not like "buds". It's more like knowing someone's polished side and their raunchy junk too...so the very nature of it means there has to be time and struggle. Ahavah cannot transpire until Ra'ah is present. Ahavah means "the love of the will" interpreted as

"I. am. not. going. anywhere."

Picture a person trapped in a fiery house with no hope of escape and her lover coming to her and refusing to leave...fading together. Picture again a dude hiding behind a piece of furniture while his wife is throwing knives at him in attempts to kill him and him yelling to her, "I'm STILL not leaving!" Crazy? Love. Ahavah. It's the safety net of a relationship. Again, time and struggle.

When these two aspects of love are actual, Dod occurs. Dod means "to carouse, rock, fondle, or mingle." People often think Dod is the Hebrew word for sex (come on, what else do you use the word fondle for?) Yet, Dod is more than the exchanging of fluids, though Dod is indeed present during sex (crass, yes, but it's what our culture has reduced it to). Dod is the mingling...of souls. Two becoming one.

Ra'ah, Ahavah, and Dod are a pulsating rhythm that seems like a mythical apparition in our culture, but in reality is ever present, emanating from Jesus. He is love; He knows our strengths and weakness because He knit us; He isn't going anywhere, proved by the Cross; and He then progressively sanctifies us because His Spirit lives in and through us. Now remember the Hebrew mind thinks with word pictures layered in meaning. So...

With Don't Fight It on repeat on my iPod, I can't help but hear Ahavah...(maybe I read into my music too much, but I prefer that all truth is mine.) I beg Jesus for this with my wife, that though she generally dislikes my taste in things; though I splash water all over the bathroom like a bird bath; though I sleep walk to the extreme; though my iniquities have led her to throw objects at my head; when we fall into each other, we won't fight it. And the pulsating rhythm continues...I know ra'ah, ahavah, and dod are a reality in part with my bride because we receive them in whole from my Father.

Porcellana Signora

2010-10-24T17:00:00.001-04:00

“In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.” Ephesian 5:28

Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life. 1 Peter 3:7

I can tell you a lot of things about my wife that I know, and I also can't tell you a lot of things about my wife that I should know. But from the above verses, I can tell you she would probably have no qualms about the first one except that it seems like a pipe dream, but the second one would make her claws come out. Peter always was the idiot I suppose, saying stupid crap to the point Jesus called him Satan; cutting people's ears off, and calling women weaker vessels? Seems like for a husband to be "understanding" he'd better not call his wife a weaker vessel. I know from experiential fact that my wife is smarter and tougher than me, laboring for 22 hours (including 2.5 hours of pushing) with my son, with not. even. one. Tylenol...and my daughter practically ripping her way out into the world. How about this, she tried pulling the stitches out of her jaw while still sitting in the dentist chair after getting her wisdom teeth cut out. I've learned as a pro complainer to try and keep any of my ailments from her knowledge, because she has an unreal pain threshold, and I can't afford to be a wimp. BUT, sometimes I accidentally will bump her in bed...sometimes it is a pretty hard hit like an elbow to the neck when rolling over (I tend to flop), but for the most part very mild compared to the pain I've seen her handle, and you'd think I'd intentionally punched her in the nose. She becomes offended and hurt. Baffling? I like to pretend I'm baffled and that I'm the victim, being attacked for nothing. But...Reality.

Reality is that the Bible is 100 % true and helpful (2 Tim 3:16) and the boneheaded Peter, lets men on a not-so-secret secret about women. When he calls them the "weaker" vessel, he is in no way suggesting that women are lesser in ANY way than men. So, retract the claws, please, at least in one hand and let me unpack this.

Weaker vessel is a reference to porcelain, that women are like porcelain, known for its considerable strength and hardness as well as its elasticity, glassiness, brittleness, translucence, beauty, and resonance. I could elaborate on all of these attributes in women in a week's worth of posts. The take-away point for husbands is to watch what comes out of your mouth towards them, watch how you touch them, watch how you handle them. They are not to be handled verbally or physically rough. Like porcelain. I think this plays out physically in not being a dope and accidentally breaking her bones when you flop over in bed, and by ferociously making time for just her with no other agenda but to enjoy her and do the things that make her know you love her...and I think this plays out spiritually by living and breathing the truths of the Bible consistently with relentless love, patience, clarity, gentleness, and tenderness. Men are called to be nail-pierced servants to their wives.

Oh how I need the grace of Jesus to fill in my miserable, continual failures at this. Sometimes irony is a disguise for His Grace: my wife made a mixed CD once with songs that would remind me of her feelings and needs, and this song was on it:

"I Bruise Easily" by Natasha Bedingfield

My skin is like a map

Of where my heart has been

And I cant hide the marks

Its not a negative thing

So I let down my guard

Drop my defenses down by my clothes

I'm learning to fall

With no safety net to cushion the blow

I bruise easily

So be gentle when you handle me

There's a mark you leave

Like a love heart carved on a tree

I bruise easily

Can't scratch the surface

Without moving me underneath

I bruise easily

I found your fingerprints

On a glass of wine

Do you know you're leaving them

All over this heart of mine too

But if I never take this leap of faith

I'll never know

So I'm learning to fall

With no safety net to cushion the blow

Anyone who can touch you

Can hurt you or heal you

Anyone who can reach you

Can love you or leave you

So be gentle... I bruise easily

The Gospel Gecko...yeah I'm talking about the Geico Gecko

2010-10-07T23:11:00.000-04:00

Geico Commercials seem to always catch my attention...they have a simple humor that resonates...the cavemen have become iconic...even the enduring honesty of Abe Lincoln becomes refreshing. And unless you you are heartless, that little Gecko, Australian...or British, (it's doesn't matter) just makes you want to have a lizard for a pet...well, not really, but He's cute. I saw this particular commercial the other night, and instantly saw Gospel implications. If we play the word association game, I say "Geico," you say, "Gecko." Sure, Geico is an insurance company, but really, it's the Gecko. So, isn't it interesting that Gecko defers the attention off of himself?

There is a theological term, “perichoresis,” that comes from two Greek words, peri, which means “around” and chorea, which means “dance.” It refers to to the reciprocal indwelling and intersecting of the three persons of the Triune Godhead, Father, Son, and Spirit. All explanations of the Trinity ultimately deteriorate, but C.S. Lewis's explanation helps our finite, logical minds understand it, at least from one perspective. He writes in Mere Christianity, "...in Christianity God is not a static thing - not even a person - but a dynamic, pulsating activity, a life, almost a kind of drama. Almost, if you will not think me irreverent, a kind of dance." The Father, Son, and Spirit have perfect communion and intimacy with one another. The Father loves the Son by means of the Spirit’s procession and the Son loves the Father by the same means. The Spirit loves both the Father and the Son and eternally proceeds from the Father and Son. Each glorifies one another, and all "glory" means is placing weight and significance on something. There is no selfishness whatsoever in the Trinity.

Jesus said, "If I glorify myself, my glory is nothing. It is my Father who glorifies me, of whom you say, 'He is our God.' John 8:54

A little later, Jesus tells his disciples, ^"When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. He will glorify me, for he will take what is mine and declare it to you. All that the Father has is mine; therefore I said that he will take what is mine and declare it to you." John 16:13-15

The root of all sin is self-centeredness. We glorify, or place the weight and significance, on people, things, concepts, feelings, etc. that cannot hold up the weight of glory...they, which the Bible calls idols, crumble and frustrate us. The most common idol is ourselves, and we would be wise to follow the leading of all the members of the Trinity and even the Geico Gecko, and defer the glory... to the one who not only deserves it but the only one who can actually receive it, Jesus. It's all about Jesus, always about Jesus, and only about Jesus.

Extraneous Cranius (or something)

2010-09-30T10:10:00.002-04:00

What do the two pictures below have in common?

Both the roider and Stewie have heads that don't match their bodies. I have learned that you can find a redeeming element in anything...any story...including the abuse of drugs and the obscenity of Family Guy...because redemption is found not within but outside in the grander Story. There is huge Gospel implications in the characters above, that the Gospel (For you sake, He became sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God) not only saves us for eternity but also sanctifies us today (I like to call it Jesus Swag).

1 Corinthians 12:27 says, "Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it."

And, Ephesians 4:15-16 says, "...speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love."

Followers of Jesus, Christians, Believers, Children of God, are freaks to the world. Scripture clearly teaches that the Cross is foolish and offends those who are not saved. But our peculiarity should have nothing to do with how we as Christ's body correspond to our head, Jesus. Do YOU resemble JESUS? Take inventory of your heart, what stirs your affections? If you are honest (which for Christians seems to be an issue) you have to admit that your heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick. If you don't admit it, read Jeremiah 17:9. For us to grow into our head, Jesus, we need to nearly moment-to-moment preach the Gospel to ourselves, that we aren't deserving of His Grace, but Jesus offers it to us freely (as Americans, we know "freedom don't come free"...Jesus's flesh was ripped off and his holiness was obliterated with the whole world's sin). We love because He first loved us...Obeying Jesus, then is not a have to but a get to.

A mark of your maturity as a Believer, a sure sign you got Jesus Swag, that the head and body are proportionate, is that when you sin you run to Him and not from Him to clean yourself up.

Adrenaline Junkies are a Dime a Dozen

2010-09-27T07:05:00.040-04:00

My wife and I never fight...but we did this once...and it just so happened to be last night...the fight really wasn't necessary but I found a way to mimic the Rocky Mountain Canary, and so things kinda escalated. We were driving in the car and she casually asked me if I had listened to the lyrics of a song to which I casually answered no. You may wonder how in the world this could mutate into a quarrel. I won't unpack the whole deal but to say that I have the proclivity to check out of my present and am mentally and emotionally invested somewhere else in the gray matter. This has much deeper implications than tuning out to the radio...there are heart and ultimately Gospel implications in my checking out.

In 1968 Bernie Krause, a bioacoustician (that is a dude that records the natural sounds of nature), could compile 1 hour of unpolluted audio of nature (that is no planes, trains, or cars...straight nature) from just 15 hours of recording. I say just 15 hours because today it takes over 2000 hours of recording to compile 1 hour of undisturbed sounds of nature. Our reality is wired into noise...constant stimulation and connection...to the point that there is empirical evidence that the modern world is rewiring us physiologically...we are adapting to a pace that operates out of shear adrenaline so that when that drive is cut off, we experience pain physically, emotionally, and mentally. Point in case: we take our phones to the bathroom...we can't even take dump alone (crass, yes, but true)...our ipod or radio has to be on as soon as we start the car...I and now my entire family has to sleep with not just a fan but one in every room of the house on....and on and on you could make a case. Silence can only be tolerated...well...it's just not tolerated...in our world, it's nearly impossible to find it or even create it (The irony: generating silence). Seems that adrenaline junkies are a dime a dozen.

Back to my world where I'm here but not really. The noise is in my head and in my heart. Life has a way of piling on. I can literally be sitting in front of the witty, humorous, intelligent, discerning, creative, deep, sexy wife of my youth and on the floor wrestling with my son and snuggling with my daughter and miss out on the utter, raw, beautiful gift that they are. I have only a few more months before my son is talking properly...only a few more months of heyacopta (helicopter) and swubseeb (slushy)...what a beautiful gift. My baby girl is already a year old and changes literally daily...One day I won't be able to delight in all her yum...kissing her thighs and her tummy...

Got one more irony for this post: the lyrics to that song playing in our car are this:

I'm swimming in the smoke / of bridges I have burned
So don't apologize / I'm losing what I don't deserve
It's in the blackened bones / of bridges I have burned
So don't apologize / I'm losing what I don't deserve
What I don't deserve
- Linkin Park

Next to justification, there is no greater Grace that I have than my wife and kiddos, and I want to...no, HAVE TO intentionally, ferociously, decisively kill the idol of stimulation for the sake of stimulation...it inevitably robs from my soul to the point of destruction. The New Testament authors continuously charge believers to be sober-minded, that is clear-headed and attuned into the present and into the graces that come through the Cross...my bride and my heritage.

Tears (Número Dos)

2010-09-23T07:37:00.013-04:00

If you have ever read my blog over the past 10 months you know that I am not the most consistent of bloggers, but I figured my previous post needed a hastier follow-up so that you don't think that I've transitioned into one of those weirdo diary type blogs that seems like a hacking up of T.M.I. or petty gripes or blundering slurs...But I'm not an idiot to scare away my 2 readers (I hope anyway)...

I think that I'm still staying true to the vision of my blog: "Life often is a blur, so I intend to blog as a way to slow down or steal the rush and linger on a concept, experience, Scripture verse, quote, video, obsession, gripe, or a person..."

So, taking a new medication for ADHD has kinda forced me to slow down...or at least my mind seems a little more settled. I said at the end of the previous post that the melancholy which is a side effect of the medication has acted as a primer of sorts. With this medication I get sad sometimes to the point of tears throughout the day. Sometimes I have no idea why...my wife will notice a somberness, ask if I'm grumpy...I'm quick to say that I'm not grumpy!...but notice that I am indeed sad. Other times I'm moved by someone else's story...I've recently been enamored by the story and life of a pastor named Britt Merrick. His little girl has had cancer and just recently it came back with a vengeance. What moves me to worship Jesus is the rawness of Britt's love and trust of Jesus. I want Jesus to be my only delight. Still other times I feel the weight of being a daddy to my unique babies ferocious in love and protection...and a husband willing to die to myself for their beautiful mommy. And I tear up at my past and present failures, but also at the faithfulness of Jesus to bless me despite me. More than anything, even if none of them understand it, they need Jesus to be my delight and portion above them and anything. The melancholy has caused me to ponder on the things of most importance, which leads me to the realization of my inadequacy, and then to the abounding adequacy of Jesus.

I don't worship my medicine...but I think in His paradoxical way that He likes to move, God has used the side effects of the medicine to bring sensation back to my numbed emotions and draw me closer to him and farther from me. I'm confident that if I stopped the medicine, Jesus has given me a deeper and broader understanding of The Gospel...for our sake, He made Him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God...and a deeper affection for Him so that whether in blessing or suffering I can cry hard at His goodness, majesty, mystery, power, and beauty.

For Your Beautiful Name, Jesus.

There is an Irony in Tears

2010-09-21T16:19:00.018-04:00

As a boy I think I cried a lot. I cried when I got hurt, when I got angry, when I was embarrassed, and when I was denied; as I matured I cried not so much over pain but over remorse for sin, the death of people I knew, and I can't think of a lot of other things (even when I broke my leg the tears I cried were more from emotions than pain). The asinine notion that boys don't cry transitioned for me into the idea that men don't cry. And despite the occasional flow when I felt guilty or the reality of death hit my life I developed an emotional constipation. This resulted in numbness, hardness, and despite a desire to cry, the inability to do so. I even developed a bitterness towards myself for not being able to cry. But in some form of mockery I would feel that tingling sensation under my eyes for people or situations I had no ties to what so ever. I say mockery because oh how the reality smothered me that I was so screwed up that I could feel the weight of life, the gut wrenching pain at times, and had no other outlet but rage. The rage would just scrape even more at the scars and drive the numbness deeper. I just wanted to cry, to bawl, and not have the thought of "you're crying...there's no need for that"...and it abruptly shut off, and the emotions abruptly sucked back inside into obscurity, into non-reality...and I would continue to drone on. I wanted to cry so hard that my body shook and I couldn't speak. There is an irony in tears. There is a rightness that wells with tears. I think people that have uninhibited tears could probably explain it better than me. I've heard a woman once describe how she secures a time to be alone to cry. She would put on some sad music and just cry. I just wanted to cry.

I just want to cry.

I don't cry. It sucks. But I'm hopeful that I am regaining a sensation, and though I consider it to be manufactured, I think that once tears flow, it probably becomes easier for them to flow the next time and the next. I say it's manufactured because depression is a side effect of the medicine I'm currently taking. I feel a melancholy quite often which has led me to experience that tingling sensation multiple times a day. I have even had tears enough to wipe way. You might be thinking that I'm joking. I can't possibly appreciate this. That this may even be an unhealthy fascination. Let me explain.

There is this theological reality called common grace. Specific or salvific grace is the Grace God extends through Jesus' crucifixion and resurrection to reconcile wicked humanity to Himself. Common grace is the goodness God extends to all humanity to better life. Every human experiences billions of common graces in his or her life. Scripture teaches that what humans intend for evil, He is able to and often do use for good. This means that almost anything can be labeled a common grace. My medicine is a common grace. It is designed to help me focus. But the melancholy I think has acted as a primer of sorts. And so I'm hopeful.

When I started writing this post I was not certain of the direction and have managed to go long. So I'll write a follow-up post to unpack all of this even further.

New Jam

2010-09-13T23:48:00.002-04:00

For my two faithful readers (you know who you are), here's the latest new vocal from Brent Smith, front-man for Shinedown. I know I'm partial, but I love it...I think I would love anything he sang...even I'm a Little Tea Pot...I have heard him sing Happy Birthday...nothing less than phenomenal. Anyway, give me some feed back on the new song called "Not Strong Enough" by Apocalyptica, featuring Brent Smith from Shinedown:

Some idols are carved out of wood or gold...mine comes in the form of coaches polls, computer ratings, hard hits, and bragging rights.

2010-09-07T13:31:00.021-04:00

My wife sent a Twitpic last night during the VA Tech and Boise State game that said, "and so it begins." Being as honest and blunt as possible, I am obsessed with college football...the Longhorns, the competition, and especially the weekly drama of the BCS polls. For 13+ weeks during the Fall a huge chunk of my conversation is spent on talking smack with friends who pull for rivalry teams. My time is spent checking ESPN.com and watching recaps, preview videos, and stats. My whole person gets hugely invested in the whole ordeal. I remember two seasons ago when Texas was stuntin' their way straight into the BCS Championship bowl game, rolling past big rival Oklahoma Sooners in a decisive 45-35 victory....and then this happened... take a look at this video (brings back a hoard of sick of emotions!).

I had the opportunity to preach Jesus the next morning at our church, and I could have been awake in anticipation of preaching, you know, praying for the Spirit to move. But instead, I was laying in bed at 1am fuming...over a ball game.

In all reality college football is an idol of mine. I invest time, money, energy, and emotions on all that surrounds and is involved in the game. My favorite preacher has said (and in some fashion says every time he preachers) that the simplest and most practical way to define how a Christian should live is to find those things in life that stir our affections for Jesus and pursue those hard with all abandon...and to identify those things that steal our affections from Jesus and name them for what they are...IDOLS...and to flee them...and kill them. He confesses that he stays away from sports because he knows he can get way too invested in whether or not a 20 year old boy catches a ball.

Sting.

Since I'm on this honest streak, I think my emotions won't be as strong this season in regards to the Longhorns record only because I'm expecting this to be a rebuilding season with Garret Gilbert being the new quarterback. I keep telling people I'd be happy with a 10-2 or 9-3 season. In reality I've yet to repent of this idol. It may not sound like a big deal, but I see the worship I bid, breathe, and bleed during college football season...I can laugh at it as silly or see it as evil.

Jesus says if your eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out...those are some hard words...that if taken in light of the Cross, produce soft people. James, the half bro of Jesus, tells us that every good and perfect gift is from above...all created things are designed to be used and enjoyed to divert our attention to the Giver...I could cut all emotional ties I have with college football, or I could worship Jesus for it. I don't think I'm abusing this theology just so I can enjoy college football guilt free. This is a principle applicable to all of our hobbies (that are likely our idols).

It is a thin red line if you are simply trying to not worship an idol...you will return with sacrifices before you can blink an eye. The trick or rather, the Truth, is to worship Jesus...to be ever thankful and moment to moment aware that "for our sake He became sin, who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God." Jesus entered skin, lost his skin, and rose back to life in a new skin...and I can watch a pigskin fly through the air and be even more enamored knowing that he saved my skin...He loves me deeply.

Look at the Light Beyond the Thing

2010-08-28T12:48:00.001-04:00

Everything we experience through our senses, thoughts, and feelings is designed to point to a Greater Thing...a Greater Person. Food and wine, dance and danger, slumber and adrenaline, melody and silence, visions and confusion, comfort and pain, laughter and tears, poetry and prose, simplicity and technology, cultivation and consumption, and on and on...when we experience these things and end simply on them we are elevating creation over Creator. Jesus has given us life and ALL it's experiences to invite us into His unending mystery, beauty, and Grace. One of my favorite things in all of the whole world that captures this reality is my wife's photography. I'm learning through watching her that photography is not about the camera or the editing software which so many fad-chasing people suppose, but it's about the perspective of the shooter. Her photography which is expanding and improving with every shot intensifies all the elements of an experience and extracts the emotive light, shadows, colors, wrinkles, micro-expressions, bokeh...her photography makes the memory of something sometimes better than the experience! Her unique eye and passion points me to worship Jesus. I invite you to enjoy her work and enjoy Jesus who has given this to her. Check out her Flickr page and her Facebook / Facebook (you'll probably have to log in to your FB account and be friends with her to view her pics in FB).

This could be as big as "Pants on the Gound"!!

2010-08-26T23:42:00.003-04:00

You know those tunes that just get stuck in your head on repeat?

Put A Bullet In It

2010-08-10T09:06:00.019-04:00

People are agents of time. We are are slaves to seconds and unable to emancipate ourselves. The vision for my blog is to steal the rush from the hands of time and linger just a little longer than normal on a concept or experience and unpack it. It occurred to me that one of the fastest ways to slow the velocity of something is to shoot it...to put a bullet right in the heart of it...It has also occurred to me that the 3 pound hunk of meat in between my ears processes information kinda like this...in the form of snippets and bulleted ideas. Below is some happenings, instances, realities in my life that I've shot in their path to obscurity:

Within the past month or so I was diagnosed with moderate ADHD...my lovely wife posted a very affirming blog post explaining it. I am thankful there is an explanation for the sound of madness in my life...the lack of follow-through, my habit of interrupting and the constant need for mental stimulation...I started a round of Adderall but stopped taking it just after 5 days because the side effects sucked. Depression...blah...and mad, mad sleep walking...one night I literally ran outside of my house in just my boxers ready to kick some butt...but then I woke up. Adderall is very controlled...apparently college students love the jittery buzz and hyped up alertness it gives...but it left me feeling drained...I can't try another medicine until mid August.
I've been sleep walking since the 4th grade...I've tried figuring out a pattern...I think it might have something to do with stress or fatigue...it's so unbelievably frustrating for my wife and myself...I get embarrassed and then I get mad. Adderall just hyped up the normal nocturnal activity.
Last night I was giving Merrick a bath and a wasp swan dove into the water. I'm not sure where he even came from, but my reflex was to punch it. Even under the water, it stung me right on my knuckle...by the time I went to bed my hand looked like I was turning from Buddy Love back to Professor Klump.
When I was on the treadmill yesterday I saw a clip on ESPN that Tim Tebow done got his hair did...like a monk! I was relieved that it was the effects of rookie hazing rather than a statement of his faith.
On the subject of the pigskin, I am super, super, super pumped for the return of college football season...hoping the Hokies mutilate the Broncos and snuff the hype about Boise on the opening game of the season. Also anticipating Garret Gilbert getting in the saddle and leading the Horns to another National Championship...I love the smack talk and the drama EVERY week of the BCS (though I really would like a playoff situation)
On Sunday we are headed down to Rodanthe, NC to spend a week getting roasted on the beach. This is an annual trip we take with my wife's family...her...entire...family. They typically rent out two gigantic beach houses and stuff them with 40+ people of four generations plus friends...an adventure with two kiddos of our own, and it's virtually free for us!
We (mostly my lovely wife) are potty training my son Merrick...He has got the peeing thing down like a pro...the other day in "Mall-Mart" as he calls Wal-Mart he went to potty 3 times...5 minutes after the second time he went he started crossing his legs and grabbing at himself and jigging so I took him back. I stood him up on the end of the toilet seat and asked if he was sure he needed to go again...he yelled, "I'm peenin! I'm peenin!" so as I pulled down his pants and he started peeing like a pressure washer...so since he was peeing all over the back of the toilet I put my hand on his chest and flipped him up so he was peeing down into the toilet...I still laugh every time I think of this!
Hulu.com is pretty uber cool (I heard a kid say this the other day and felt old because I don't know today's slang...wonder if I used it right?), except I've caught up on all my favorite shows (Fringe, Lie to Me, House, Bones, Modern Family, Castle) and summer TV stinks, with the exception of Wipe Out...I can't wait for the fall season of TV.
I have 2 tattoos and am itching for another...or 3...I've been designing them so maybe I'll do a post soon called "Behind the Tat".

These happenings, instances, realities are forever sealed on the world wide web...hyperbole I know, but at least I was able to share them with you.

Think of All The Things You Can Throw a Rock At?

2010-07-22T23:38:00.001-04:00

He who forgives much does so because he has been forgiven of much.

Jesus: the Ace of all Aces

2010-07-19T09:24:00.028-04:00

So around the airport that I work at, there is a strange breed of man. For those who hang around whether to work or fly, aviation is no small obsession. The people live, breath, sleep, and eat all things aviation. They put stickers on their cars that say, "I love the smell of Jet A in the morning." I say, "that's because it's not on your hands and soaked into your shoes." Because I am not as emotionally invested in aviation as the rest, the extent of my aviation knowledge is pretty limited. Nevertheless, I learn something new pretty much every day I work. In the past two week a bird has flown in that strikes the most peculiar of responses from grown men. They almost pee themselves in excitement and crowds flock to examine it. The plane is called a P51 Mustang. I think I'm rather privileged to have seen and fueled two in a mere two weeks, because there are guys who have been hanging around for years who have never seen one in person. As the one pictured below flew over midfield yesterday morning, the director of maintenance literally bounced up and down and said "ooh oh, please land here!" *note the peculiar behavior." This plane is the Eleanor (Gone in 60 Seconds) of aircraft. They are not quite as rare as Eleanor but are just as admired and coveted. This particular Mustang was assembled in 1947 and is priced at approximately 2 million. You could get a private Beech Jet for less. There are so few remaining (a few hundred) because the pilots who can afford one simply don't have time to get the experience they need to handle it. Unfortunately, they end up killing themselves with it.

So, as I fueled the plane I noticed something that struck me. The eight Nazi decals posted on the side of the fuselage. (pictured below) I thought this was an American bird? Then someone told me that the stickers represented confirmed Nazi kills. Five kills designated a fighter pilot as an "Ace", so the cat that took care of some Nazis was a bad mama jama. The current pilot explained that the kills didn't belong to this particular airframe but that the paint scheme is modeled after a plane that did indeed shoot down eight Nazi aircraft.

A habit that Jesus is drawing me into, is to be able to recognize the Gospel in all of my life circumstances. So the Spirit prompted me to ponder on these eight decals, these eight little symbols that hold so much rhetorical meaning...these kills which are historical victories over an evil force. My initial thought was how could a believer swag out to show his victories over evils in his life? We could rock a chain with medallions: The "better" we live the bigger the medallions. Hopefully you see how ridiculous this notion is. This is merely the idolatry of morality. This goes to show you the extent of my depravity. *There is no telling where an ADHD tangent will end up.* This reminds me of James and John bickering over where their cheeks will land in Heaven. Everything has a thread of, or inklings of, or the potential for...redemption. All of history renders this truth. It's what theologians call Redemptive History; the drama of God redeeming men and women from death and sin. All angles of history fall under this history including WWII history and thus have remnants of redemption. So all of these instances when the oppressed are freed and the raped are cherished and the forgotten are restored are marks of victory...kills, if you will. They all point to and find their source in a greater Redemption: Calvary. God seems to humor himself in paradoxes. For believers, our victories are when...ready for this?...we lose ourselves and can only credit life (marked in joy and suffering) to the maker of it, Jesus. Jesus is the Ace of all Aces, forever glorying in this: "For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God" (2 Cor 5:21). As believers, Jesus is the victory, and the Bible teaches that the Spirit is our seal of the kill. *If you like the idea of the Nazi decals on the Mustang, and you are a little edgy, go for a tattoo!* And in all seriousness, when you are stuntin' on life, Jesus is the victory, and when you are suffocating in pain and numbness, Jesus is the victory.

How Could You Say No To This Face?

2010-06-28T07:44:00.014-04:00

Growing up I always had pets. Some of my earliest photos are of me laying around with our family Collie. Then we raised Dachshunds for a while of which one was my very own who was named Tinkerbell, and I called her Tink. (Apparently Tinkerbell is the floozy of Disney Princess types.)

Then I got an orange cat named Jinx who was declawed but would still attack dogs, raccoons, opossums, and whatever else tried to stare him down. He was a beast, and I loved him. As a teenager I got a German Shepherd. I also had an African Pygmy Hedgehog...oh and a hand full of gold fish that I managed to kill within days, actually on more than one occasion. My wife and I have an estranged cat right now...Sounds funny but he is currently residing at my in-laws home...we have a love/hate relationship...I could go on for an entire post about this cat...he is the most attention hungry animal I've ever seen with such idiosyncrasies such as his midnight demonic possessions and his determination to chew and swallow random items (milk jug rings, ponytail bands, balloon strings, money, etc.) and then vomit them up. (These are elements of our hate relationship).

From all my pet experiences, I've learned that I really do love most all animals...they are cute and entertaining and fun. Conversely, I've also noticed that they seem to be an outlet for my compulsive nature. I am intrigued at the idea of a animal friend but quickly become bored and annoyed with the responsibility of cleaning up after them. And they make things smelly and dirty. My newest obsession is with the Fennec Fox, native of the Sahara Desert. They are one of the only species of fox that can be legally domesticated. I think these things are stupid cute and I want one. Fortunately, God's providence helps me in my weakness as these cute little critters are exotic and thus carry and exotic price tag to the tune of $1000+ bones.

Boom Lay, Boom Lay, Boom!

2010-06-23T08:03:00.006-04:00

I know I'm biased but you can't deny that Shinedown produces top-notch music with every track. This song is the soundtrack for the upcoming film, The Expendables which I want to see because you won't find another film with that many and that caliber of meat head actors. Feedback, whatcha think of the song and the movie trailer?

In Him, part 1

2010-06-10T18:44:00.014-04:00

I have become an avid blog reader in the past six months. You can see my daily run through on the right of my blog...my wife has set up Google Reader for me which is supposedly more efficient for the blog reader...and I don't use it...so I guess I'm just antiquated. So moving on, I read a statement on a blog by one of my favorite preachers that said: "I am a fan of Christ in "so and so." Now that is a perspective change that I desire. Romans 1:25 reads, "they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator." My tendency is to obsess over ("worship") people, concepts, experiences, food, feelings, cravings, toys, and on and on...as if I could ever be satisfied in any of those things. The Bible calls this idolatry. So let's chat about creation. Creation is everything but the Trinity (Father, Son, and Spirit). To clarify even further, whatever you think or feel, see or hear, taste or smell, and touch, that is creation. Creation does not exist to end in itself but to point us to Jesus. ALL of creation points to Jesus. I want to be a fan of Christ in the creation that I enjoy...a fan of Christ in my bride...a fan of Christ in my Wild Man and Princess Poo...a fan of Christ in Chipotle...a fan of Christ in new friendships...a fan of Christ in my favorite preachers...a fan of Christ in watching Longhorns football...I also want to be a fan of Christ in the creation that presses me, that hurts me...a fan of Christ in tight bills...a fan of Christ in my perpetually defiant children...a fan of Christ in the lactic acid when I workout...a fan of Christ in feeling lonely or embarrassed. One of the Apostle Paul's favorite phrases in his epistles is "In Him." In the next few blogs I'm going to explore some implications of what it means to be in Him. The first thing is that ALL of creation finds it's significance in Him.

"Happy To You"

2010-06-02T22:31:00.011-04:00

Today is a special, special day. It is my best friend and lover's birthday...

...the day God gave me the most tangible displays of His Grace in my life.

This young lady is the most naturally witty, humorous, intelligent, discerning, and sexy person I know. I'd be lost without her.

Thanks for stickin' with me, Shooter...for loving me...for pressing into me...and showing me that Jesus is my strength and portion forever. I love you. I hope the celebration of your life today brings you so much joy!

First on the Scene

2010-06-01T22:27:00.007-04:00

I am a lineman at the Hanover County Airport. I fuel planes, moves planes, wax planes, and pretty much everything but fly planes. This afternoon I was standing on the ramp with my supervisor and looked as I watched a coworker's RV 9 glide by. (I said glide because he was not technically flying...his prop was not spinning...the engine was off.) I said to my supervisor, "Keith, what is Ray doing?" Keith said, "He's not practicing...get the truck!" In the next 30-60 seconds I was a half mile down the runway sprinting as fast as I could through a field approaching the upside down plane. My mind was racing with the possibility that Ray hadn't made it. Fortunately, the plane had not yet engulfed in flames (and never did) and Ray answered our calling and told us he was OK. Keith and I shouldered the tail and lifted it enough for Ray to squeeze out of the shattered canopy of the plane. I know Ray simply as an acquaintance, nothing of his personal life, but what a relief to see him walk away with minor cuts from the wreckage. Literally seconds after he was out of the plane the drama ensued with local law enforcement, media, and rubber-neckers. People were attracted to this situation like flies on crap and it was kinda of annoying. I know that if it wasn't me it would have been someone else, but I am glad that I was able to be one of the first there to help Ray. I guess it's all in a day's work at a small local airport.

19,510 Days Left

2010-05-25T21:01:00.008-04:00

According to the CIA Factbook, on February 21, 1986 I had roughly 28,542 more days to live. Today, that leaves me with roughly 19,510 days. I recently heard a question posed like this: "Are you simply finding ways to pass the time or are you doing things to spend the time?" Even more cool, Paul writes in Ephesians 2:10, "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." Do you know what Paul was doing when he wrote the letter to the Ephesians? He was probably salivating over rats that were nibbling on his toes...and wondering how pretty the big guy in the corner really thought he was...doing some sort of ancient Pilates to prevent atrophy...all as he sat...in...a...Roman...prison. What else can you do in a prison but pass the time? But Paul recognized that once in Jesus everything He did was intended as good works...and so He also penned the inspired Word of God. I am at a point in my life right now kinda of waiting for the real where and what God has for me. Now though I realize that even mundane wax-on-wax off type of activities and driving the same 800 miles a week and eating at the same meals at the same table at the same restaurants every week are all intended before the world was even spoken into existence as good works in Jesus. Laugh hard, and cry hard. And know its all from the love and mercy of Jesus. Steal the rush from the hands of time. So, Are you simply finding ways to pass the time or are you doing things to spend the time?

White Dude Standing on the Wall

2010-05-16T22:11:00.003-04:00

So for 24 years I managed to never dance in front of people. (Slow dancing where you sway back and forth and step on the girl's feet doesn't count as dancing). I was always the awkward white dude playin the wall like I was too slick to dance, while all I really wanted (and want) to do is go out and bust a move. Yet this past week, I did the Cupid Shuffle in front of other people, not just once but twice! The first time, I was helping out with a thing called Boosterthon Fun Run, which is a fund-raising gig for elementary students. So my first time dancing in front of people was actually in front of miniature people who just thought I was funny. But this experience gave me just enough nerve to then go out with my wife at her cousin's wedding and do the Cupid Shuffle...I have to work hard for my rhythm (which is often to it's own turn table) but as my daughter grows up I want to be able to take her out on the dance floor...and I want both of my kids to have memories of their mommy and daddy spinning around the house. I don't want to live another 24 years and wished I would have gone out and danced. Sound's cliche because of that Leann Womack song...but I'll take it...Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (we got a brand new dance)!

10k PR: 49:42

2010-05-03T07:21:00.006-04:00

On Saturday, we ran another 10K, but this time it included more of the family: my two sister-in-laws (Amanda and Anna), my future bro-in-law (Cam), his dad (Tim), my wife (Austin-Lee), and myself. Everyone competed and finished really well. The race results are here. It's kinda odd because I can sit and study race results for a long time, gauging racer's ages and genders and hometowns to their times...I guess it's a means of comparing myself. This could be a healthy motivator or a compulsive urge...not really sure. This course was more difficult than the last 10k race because it was 50° hotter with a beast of a hill at the end. Got the best of some runners as they blew junks all over the road. My time, somehow was a minute and 13 seconds faster than my first 10k, which surprised me because I ran 2/3 of the race with cramps and developed a blister on my foot. I really have to figure how to alleviate my cramping. I am becoming kinda obsessed with running races because of the adrenaline and the personal goal to work towards in training and during the race. It's been about a month since the last race, and I don't think I've grown leaps and bounds in my running stamina or technique. However, running has become a reality in my life...I have to run 4-5 days a week to be satisfied. At the risk of sounding cheesy I have a great runner to look up to and a personal coach in my wife.

Mommy, the troll is talking to me and starting to scare me

2010-04-27T16:39:00.006-04:00

Disclaimer: This is a true story told by a lady from my church.

There is a special needs teacher who has a grown son who is himself mentally handicapped, but high functioning. He is able to care for himself at home while his parents are at work. One day recently he calls his mom and says, "Mommy, I'm playing with the troll! I have a troll and I'm playing with and I want you to come see it!" A little baffled, she explains she can't come home yet but will see it later. A couple hours later he calls his mom back and hysterically tells her that the troll is talking him and starting to scare him. She manages to calm him down and tells him she will be home as soon as she can. When she walks through the front door she notices all this furniture shoved in front of the coat closet....and then she hears knocking. "Tap, tap, tap." At first she thinks, "cat? small rodent?", but the tapping was disturbing. So she proceeds to move the furniture and open the closet door to find a miniature Jehovah's Witness...a midget. She frantically starts apologizing, yet the flustered little man says nothing and walks out the front door.

I can only imagine how the exchange went down between a grown mentally handicapped man and a midget Jehovah's Witness. Some how I don't think there was a lot of persuasion happening.

Happy Monday

2010-04-26T08:10:00.000-04:00

You gotta crack a little smile :)

Merrick rocks out "Pants on the Ground"

2010-04-19T23:30:00.001-04:00

Makes me laugh every time I watch this:

A Cold, Dark Display of Mercy

2010-04-19T07:12:00.008-04:00

I had an epiphany around midnight that in the interest of time the next afternoon that I could get up and run outside before I went to work. This would only take an extra 30 minutes max since I didn't have to travel to the gym. When I got to the end of my driveway the next morning and the light from my porch faded, I had my second epiphany: back in the sticks where there are no street lights, its durn dark outside at 5:25 am...and cold...so with my iPod jammin' in the earbuds, I began to run and quickly decided to take one earbud out so that I could hear any rabid creatures that would lunge from the woods, since my visual perception was not only masked in the night but also blurry from tears that the cold air was causing. At one point I spooked some deer in the brush but before I realized the noise was deer running from me, my adrenaline surged and I was inclined to yell into the woods...may seem odd to you but since I can remember any time I've ever been scared at an unknown I've figured yelling might demonstrate that I'm nothing to mess with. Nearing mile 3 I had a third epiphany as I was trying to come up with a pithy Tweet to describe this experience: The darkness had served a purpose in my run. It was enveloping. I can't describe it, but the darkness definitely served a purpose. Then it occurred to me that this realization shed some light on a hard passage of scripture that I've been reading over, namely Romans 9 about God's sovereignty. This is probably the single most difficult passage in all of scripture to swallow...I won't get into it, because major schools of theology have deliberated on it for hundreds of years...you can read it for yourself...but I just think it's cool how a cold, dark run is a display of God's mercy in my relationship to Him.

Where Science ends, FRINGE Begins

2010-04-16T12:13:00.005-04:00

Watch this video and you'll have a slight concept of what's going on, but trust me it's only the tip of the iceberg.

I like to watch TV, and I know it is a thorough waste of time *a lot of the time*. I think I've cut back a little on my viewing habits and it has been beneficial. Nevertheless, every once in a while a show is written that is brilliantly written that almost intoxicates my imagination. Prison Break was one such show. Fringe is another such show that I think I am even more intrigued by than Prison Break (but I consider myself less cumulative about this show which is a good thing...possibly I've matured...I did recently tweet that Hulu.com was created for marriages!) The show is full of intriguing yet disturbing images and themes. Thus, my amazing wife is not a fan...she says because there are no rules to what can happen...and that is indeed the theme of the show...a world of endless impossibilities. The show is only half way through the 2nd season, so it's not too late to catch up from the beginning and be struck by its genius!

Pollen Sucks

2010-04-05T09:12:00.003-04:00

I love the change of seasons. At the end of every season I am ready for the next to come. Spring might be the best season of the year except for the crap pictured above. The scent of fresh cut grass and fresh air, wearing flip-flops without freezing my toes, and relaxing in the cool evenings are some of my favorite things. But since I was a kid I've had allergies, and to me it seems to get progressively more severe each year. Fountains of snot pour out my nose, the inside of my eye sockets swell so that it starts to interfere with my vision on top of the endless fountain of tears. It perpetually feels like someone is pulling a cactus through my nasal cavity. I started taking Alavert with all the childlike hope I can muster that it might help. Claritin D never touched my allergies. I have learned a few practical techniques that hold of the gushing of mucus from the face: breath through my mouth, fight off sneezing (it becomes a slippery slope), wear sunglasses all the time so not to start rubbing my eyes (another slippery slope), and rinse my hands and face with water often. This morning has been ok even as the props of a Beechcraft King Air blew clouds of the yellow crap straight into me face...though I feel the itching is looming around my eyes and nose. This is a ranting post...I HATE POLLEN.

I was smoked by a leprechaun, an 8 year old boy, and a Stormtrooper pulling an inflated Deathstar!

2010-03-29T07:53:00.013-04:00

This past Saturday, my wife and I ran the Monument Avenue 10K. I was supposed to run it two years ago and conveniently broke my leg a month prior, so got out of it. I have never been a runner and don't claim to be one now. My wife on-the-other-hand has run nearly everyday for the past 10+ years. She has always told me that runners thrive on the endorphins and it simply make the worst of days tolerable when she has run. Again, I don't claim to be a runner and during the race I couldn't shake the word "Poser" from my mind. I'll explain.

I'm not a runner. It hurts. It's hard. YET, two weeks out from the Monument 10k (which hosted over 37,000 people this year) I decided I should maybe train a little. So I ran on a Sunday afternoon and with all my exertion I managed 2.0 miles and hated life. The next day I decided I would not ponder on the thought of running; I simply would just do it because I knew if I didn't run in consecutive days, I wouldn't do it the next day either. I think I ran 2.25 miles. It hurt and I hated life. The next time I ran, I pounded out 4 miles and began to experience that runner's high...good stuff...A few days out from the race I had set a goal of under 50 minutes for 6.2 miles which is ludicrous for a non-runner...and I knew it.

Our wave started at 8:38am and it was 34 degrees. The titanium rod in my leg was icy cold and hurt. My bare legs felt like solidifying concrete in the cold. My hands throbbed. But I managed to have a faster pace than those around me. That was the first 3.1 miles. When I turned the half-way mark I was warmed up and felt good, so I decided I would pick up my pace for a mile or so and to give myself a cushion. I started to role past people...and the faint hints of a cramp in my ribs started to annoy me. I tried breathing it out but to no avail. By mile 4 I was dogging along what seemed to me like I was basically running in place. My wife (the runner) came up behind me and was like "what are you doing" and all I could manage was a glare. That required some explanation after the race that I wasn't glaring cause she was smokin' me but that a cramp was ruining my pride for all my devotion to running. "Poser" is all I could think as I didn't pass another runner the entire rest of the race, YET was passed by a leprechaun, and 8 year old boy, and a Stormtrooper *pulling behind him a freaking 6 foot inflated Deathstar!!!*

"Poser." Who was I kidding that I was now part of the running world after 2 weeks of running. Nursing my cramp and my hurt pride, I decided I would do my best to be happy for my wife. And that was so easy cause she had an amazing time of 47:55, her new personal record that was 4 minutes less than her goal for the race! Way to go babe! I managed 50:55 which surprised the heck out of me. I still don't consider myself a runner, but it's odd because when on a day where I don't run, I now feel like I'm a little less than what I could and should be.

Paul says to Timothy, "For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come." Believe it or not, some people use this verse as an excuse to not workout. I'm learning that the two complement each other.

The Irony of Truth

2010-03-24T07:17:00.001-04:00

This commercial makes me laugh...the irony of truth.

Atrophy

2010-03-16T21:37:00.002-04:00

Atrophy: degeneration, decline, or decrease, as from disuse.

Below are song lyrics by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus: Atrophy
_____________________________________________

Don't tell me that this is your last chance to change
'cause if you do, then you would be telling a lie but

I warned you
what could happen if you should decide
to live your life from the 9 to 5
and I mourn you
for the detail that is left unsaid
is a reminder of the time you bled

Return to days when you knew you still felt alive
Reveal the way you felt when you could look inside

They've sold you
everything you need to fix you up
and you feel good now but you can't wake up
they found a way to reassure you
that everything would be okay
reach out today now I implore you
to remember who you are

Return to days when you knew you still felt alive
Reveal the way you felt when you could look inside

So you felt it, but you don't know,
why you can't explain at all
why you felt it, 'cause you don't know,
no you don't know

Break the walls between building atrophy
causing all your problems to recede
break the walls between (break the walls between)
causing all your pain (causing all your pain)
you'll never learn

Return to days when you knew you still felt alive
Reveal the way you felt when you could look inside

(Break the walls between building atrophy)
Take back
The beat in your heart
Why fight
When you can't be bought?

(Causing all your problems to recede)
Take back
The beat in your heart
Why fight
When you can't be bought?

(Break the walls between)
Take back
The beat in your heart
Why fight
When you can't be bought?

(Causing all your pain)
Take back
The beat in your heart
Why fight
When you can't be bought?

"Remember Me"...you won't forget it

2010-03-13T12:13:00.010-05:00

On Friday I asked a hot little thing to go to a movie with me, and she said yes...and she is my wife. Austin-Lee and I went to a movie, Remember Me. I've seen both vampire movies with Robert Pattinson and was interested if this chick-flick was gonna prove he can only be a vampire or if he is legit. (In my opinion, turns out not to be a chick-flick at all...watch the first minute and you would agree)

He is legit.

Of course he had the same mannerisms as Edward, the vampire, but he was very funny in a sarcastic sort of way, which is enough to be a legit actor for me or at least shows potential. Most times sarcasm has no redeeming value, but sometimes it's just funny.

I won't get into the movie too much, except on a line that Tyler (Pattinson) quotes a couple times: "Everything you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it." -Gandhi

This quote resonated with me, only after the best surprise ending to a movie I've ever seen.

I remember watching the Sixth Sense and that ending was not a surprise. M. Night Shyamalan films always have substantial signs that lead you to a corresponding ending...even in the Village.

"Remember Me" has one of the best endings to a film I've seen in a long time...all that I'll say is you have to go see it!

I give it a 1.5 thumbs up based of robshep's rating system (yeah I know Rob doesn't have half thumbs but you get the point):

Rob's Rating System: Two Thumbs up = I loved it, worth paying full price, and I will own it on DVD.
One Thumb up = An OK movie, worth a matinee showing, and I may buy it on DVD if I see it in the $5 bin.
Thumb to the side = Wait and rent it. I wouldn't be mad if someone gave me this DVD, but I wouldn't buy it.
Thumbs down = I hated it, wish I wouldn't have wasted money on it, wouldn't own it on DVD

Her Name is Alice

2010-03-08T14:42:00.002-05:00

New Shinedown track on Alice in Wonderland soundtrack.
Like? Dislike? Let me know.

Hack Your Mind

2010-03-04T07:38:00.004-05:00

When I was in high school my youth pastor had us memorize a lot of scripture. Scripture teaches that it is like a lamp, a tea-light of sorts, illuminating just enough ahead of us to make a step. The author of Hebrews tells us that scripture can and will dissect every isolated pride, insecurity, and sin; every relationship, vision, and enterprise; and every thought, gut-churn, and every intention. I can't recite verbatim every passage I have once memorized. Sometimes I spit out a verse and you won't find it in any Bible because I've mixed up 3 different translations. Nevertheless, in specific times, those verses committed to memory are brought to the front of my attention. I want to be obsessed with scripture, to live and breath it. A couple years ago I got the notion to memorize an entire Gospel, and I decided on John because it showcases the person of Jesus. I compulsively jumped into memorizing it, got through about half of the first chapter and stopped *that is what my compulsive behavior does, starts and never finishes.* The deal is that the desire to memorize the Gospel has never left me. So this week, I began again, with a new understanding that I don't have to memorize a chapter a week *I am an extremist* and be done in 21 days, but simply incorporate it into a lifestyle of memorization and one day I might just be able to know the entire Gospel of John by heart. The cool thing is that as I started in on "In the beginning was the word..." what I had already memorized quickly came back.

"...and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.

Cow Tippin'

2010-02-14T21:17:00.012-05:00

Next weekend at our church is a student experience that I have been planning for months called "Cow Tippin'". Cow Tippin' is a worship experience to host students who are far from Christ and saturate them with the Gospel. The idea behind the theme is this: Short of ramming a bovine with a truck, the rural pass-time activity of "cow tipping" is a myth. Students who are far from Christ and who almost seem allergic to church are so because of misconceptions of who Jesus Christ is, what the CHURCH (universal and local) is about, and how faith operates in a post modern paradigm, etc. Most teens' idea of Jesus is formed by Kanye West, South Park, and hypocritical Christians. These misconceptions are myths just like cow tipping. Therefore, the theme verse for the weekend is Hebrews 1:13 - "The Son is the radiance of God's glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word." This verse showcases exactly who Jesus is. The vision of our student ministry is this: "180 Student Ministry exists so that you, your friends, your friend's friends, and their friends will have the GOOD life in Jesus Christ." The goal is 200+ *yet to believe* students to pack the FOCUS Center. Jay Rebsamen, the event speaker, has assured that if we can get 200 students at one of the three rallies, the razor will spin on my skull, much to to the argument of my sister-in-law who is getting married the next week...we'll see. I worked with Jay for a while...he is the KING of awkward moments and is desperate for Jesus...he is going to bring it! An instant mentor and life-long friend (HNIC), Jimmie Gillespie and his wife, will lead us in worship...I really can't wait for that experience! The cost for the event is 0.00 bones. I do not want ANYTHING to deter students from coming so money can't be an issue! The t-shirt for the event is blingin'...literally gold cows...and EVERY student will get one for free...as well as opportunities to win prizes like an ipod Touch, a Flip video camera, gifts cards, etc. I'm pumped for the event and am confident Jesus is going to cross many students from death into His Life. I've dreamed bigger than ever this year, more than I can make happen...so it's all on HIM now and for HIS glory. Dreaming never cost a dime.

Last Stand

2010-02-08T21:49:00.005-05:00

This commercial aired Sunday night during the 2010 Superbowl...I love the Charger, though it has some pretty significant blind spots...I chuckled at some of the things that were conceded to like eating fruit, cleaning the sink after shaving, and watching vampire movies...mostly because those topics have occurred in conversations with my wife. This portrayal of masculinity is stereotypical of sitcom media--man is begrudgingly "emasculated" and must make a "last stand" over some scope of territory. I think this is crap--that men have to make a stake on "his stuff". It is expected though, not just through media, but even in church, that it is "healthy" for a husband and a wife to have certain things, activities, friends, expectations, dreams, lapses, stories, etc. each other shouldn't, can't, won't even consider touching. Again, this is crap. As followers of Jesus, He bids us die...die to our narcissistic tenancies, urges, expectations, and demands...this is especially important in marriage. At the example of a great pastor, I want to gladly concede all day to day decisions first to the preference of my wife, BECAUSE one day there will come a decision to go a particular direction that will drastically alter our life and I don't want any of my stupid "last stands" to stand in the way of her trusting my call. MOREOVER, I want to be so obsessed with Jesus that my affections aren't wrapped up in my preferences and comforts that I miss the opportunity to allow the Gospel to wrap and infiltrate my marriage. This perspective is new to me, but it is good. I write all this in anticipation and hopefully execution on my part. God likes paradoxes, right? I'm confident that we can live dead to ourselves and be more fulfilled than we could have ever done with our "last stands." I've said it, now it's time to live it.

Rockin' Pink

2010-02-02T21:05:00.008-05:00

During the after Christmas sales, I bought a flannel Zoo-York shirt that is purple. It has quickly become my favorite item of clothing.

Just the other day my wife bought me a Fox Racing hat that has pink it it. I love Fox hats and especially my new one.

My birthday is coming up and I want this Nixon watch that is pink. Nixon watches are awesome anyway, but this one is bold.

All of these fashion items have a commonality of traditionally girly colors. I'm not hidin' nothin', I am just starting to like these colors a lot. I wonder if stores like Pac-Sun didn't carry mens clothing that is purple and pink, if I would have the same interest. Makes you wonder WHO YOU would be if you weren't exposed to the 3,000+ advertisements each day that you are. I'm not being some backwoods fundamentalist freak. On the contrary, I think there is something Biblical to be engaged and invested in our immediate culture. I'm not saying being trendy is the cultural mandate found in Genesis, but I don't think it's against it either. Therefore, I'm gonna rock my pink watch when I eventually get it.

Shadows

2010-01-26T21:13:00.006-05:00

This is a song by the David Crowder Band on their new album, "Church Music". It speaks volumes to my soul. It's deep...I don't really have the energy right now to express it, but hope you enjoy it.

"Sparta!"...eh, not really.

2010-01-25T12:39:00.020-05:00

Right around Thanksgiving, I started noticing a lot of reTweets that mentioned praying for @MattChandler74...so all these people I knew all knew Matt Chandler, and I had no idea who he was. I looked him up and quickly learned his story of a Thanksgiving Day seizure which was the manifestation of a malignant brain tumor. I then became acquainted and immersed in Matt's story, his brilliant commentary on scripture, and his unquenchable passion for Jesus. If you skim through my Facebook updates for the past few weeks you'll notice brilliant quotes...straight from his sermons. If you got a sec read the excerpt below (I know it's long...it could have been longer):

Look at where he goes next. Verse 12, “Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God. . .” Okay, let’s chat. In almost every one of our membership classes that I’ve been a part of, a twenty year old guy in the room has raised his hand and said, “If you had one thing to say to young men, what would it be?” And I think the thing I always aggressively go after young men for is passivity. It’s this weak willed passivity where you don’t take your sin seriously, you don’t want to put anything to war and you just sit around and go, “Oh God, I wish I wasn’t that way.” There just seems to be no zeal for war, no desire to put anything to death. There’s just this, “Oh, I hope this works out, but I’d rather not have to work at it or anything. Is there something You can do to just make this go away?” It’s just this haphazard and lame attempt at putting sin to death. And the text is going, “No, that’s not how we’re doing this.” “Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God. . .” Now I need to make a real clear distinction here, because one is about action and one is about a person. So he says here, “Don’t present the members of your body, your hands, your eyes, your ears, your mind, don’t present the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness.” This is what your mama said, “Garbage in, garbage out.” Be careful what you’re digesting, but instead he says, “Present yourselves to God.” So it’s not just, “Don’t do bad things; do good things instead.” That’s not what he said. He said, “Don’t use your hands, mind and faculties to absorb sinful things, but rather press into God. Know the Person and work of God.” One of the reasons I’m constantly trying to get you to read better books than read and to think more deeply than you think is because the Bible says it’s by beholding God that we’re transformed from one degree of glory to the next. That doesn’t occur simply by modifying our behavior. It’s in seeing and understanding the nature of God, the character of God, the beauty of God. And that’s why he says here, “Present yourselves to God. Press into Him. Know Him. That’s the goal.” (emphasis mine)

What is evidence of a man that is had? He has the righteousness of his Lord. I love the movie 300 about the 300 Spartans at the Battle of Thermopylae. It is a instant classic movie that strokes the male ego. To embed and fight to the death gets our adrenaline pumping as men. (And the leotard is permissible cause of the stack of abs above it...side note...one of my life-goals is to pump out the 300 work-out in a descent time...guess you got be able to actually complete it to count the time!) There is something valiant and valuable in this epic story...but not when it comes to battling sin. Jesus was a Spartan...pierced like King Leonidas...difference is boys, Jesus rose and death has no dominion over us. Men think that they can phalanx themselves in and simply hold off sin, but scripture teaches us that our demise has already infiltrated before we isolate and numb ourselves. The only way to war with sin is to relentlessly run from it...shun it...snuff it...expose it. A man that is had by Jesus wars against his sin...just not like a Spartan. God likes paradoxes.

And Make It a Melody

2010-01-19T22:19:00.013-05:00

A man is had by Jesus when he's got nothing left. I cannot even verbalize the intensity of my own self reliance. I remember as a kid messing with my older brother just to get a rise out of him and he would flip me over, beat me a bit, and make me cry...and as soon as I could swallow the pain I would start jawing at him again. My self-reliance, self-preservation, self-justification, self-love, self, self, self (which is diseased) rears its head even after massive collateral damage to my heart, my relationships, my purity...etc. The state of man which Jesus desires is threaded through all of the New Testament, and it is to be at his ropes end. Rock. Bottom. At the end of himself.

I used to be a fan of Switchfoot when they were new on the scene. And I am a new found fan with their new album, Hello Hurricane. The theme of the album is me screwing it all up til you can't recognize any redeeming qualities and Jesus making that mess beautiful...taking what's left of me and making it a melody. For the CHURCH to start getting the men, this truth has to be hammered constantly...that "yeah, man you have ruined everything, but Jesus makes up for it...and He makes it a melody"

Get The Man

2010-01-14T17:53:00.007-05:00

An excerpt from It by Craig Groeschel:

At Mars Hill, [Mark] Driscoll and the leaders are focused on getting Jesus to men. Mark says, "If you get the young men, you also win the war for the future." He explains that there are between eleven and thirteen million more Christian women than Christian men. Sixty percent of Christians are female. He expresses excitement over the number of women who are followers of Christ, while sounding the alarm that most churches are not attracting, converting, and deploying godly, gifted, competent Christian men. When I asked Mark what else he would like to add, he said, "If I had three final suggestions, they would be get the men, get the men, get the men."

And what does it mean to "get the men"? I want to write a series of posts on what it means to get the man. They will be developed under the presumption that to get the man means more than just him being in the room. I know what it means to be in the room and not have me. And I know what it is to see a man that is had, and it's an explosive, contagious, impossible reality. A man that is had operates from 2 Peter 1:3-4: His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

Aim Small, Miss Small

2010-01-05T09:33:00.006-05:00

There is a scene in The Patriot where Benjamin Martin (played by Mel Gibson) is coaching his son how to shoot a musket and kill Redcoats. His instruction is simple and has remained in the ranks of my memory hierarchy with occasional resurgence: Aim small, miss small.

This concept refers to much more than marksmanship. If you think about it how could you accomplish ANYTHING without a little focus, right? Christ calls us to focus: And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him (Col 3:17). Christ is always calling us to excellence...in our relationships, labor, enterprise, hobbies, rest, speech, thinking, our worship, etc, etc, etc.

Self-help writer and public speaker, Tony Robbins says, "Most people have no idea of the great capacity we can immediately command when we focus all of out resources on mastering a single area of out lives." So are you shooting from the hip at everything that moves or do you have your crosshairs set on a button on a coat? The more focused you are on a particular thing in our life the more excellent that things will be. Logic demonstrates that to focus on a few certain things will require that we relentlessly ignore lesser things.

BirdMan

2009-12-28T20:00:00.003-05:00

I remember when I was a kid having these dreams where I could just take off and fly...no rockets or wings...I just jumped and took off... I suppose like a superhero...the dreams were so vivid and I remember waking and getting depressed that I couldn't really fly. I saw a 60 Minutes segment on Bird-Man wingsuit jumping/flying and my childhood aspirations to fly all came back. Ironically, I work at an airport and have literally no desire to fly a plane...not against being a pilot. It just doesn't interest me. HOWEVER, this wingsuit jumping is freaking incredible! If I actually had a list of things I have to do before I die, this is on it fo show! I can't imagine my wife would be into it even a little bit, BUT I can imagine that my son would love to do it with me when he is old enough...so, Merrick, 14 years from now we will begin training to be Birdmen.

Since Christmas Isn't About Giving...

2009-12-27T16:09:00.015-05:00

People say Christmas is about giving...I say bull crap...Christmas is about Emmanuel...this thought comforts me like a leopard print Snuggie, or at least lets me feel OK about being super excited about the gifts I received for Christmas. My dad got me a new cordless drill, and my students all wanted to know why that was such an exciting gift, but it fits the macho present requirement for every Christmas, and what better than a Dewalt cordless drill, right?

My sister-in-law, Anna, and her boyfriend, Cam, gave me a gift that I actually didn't even know existed:

The Final Break: Prison Break

From the earliest previews in the summer of 2005, I was addicted to the show Prison Break. Honestly, the only reason I am not now having to get my fix every Monday evening is because the show isn't on anymore. This 2 hour special picks up where the finale ends with the collapse of the Company and the exoneration of the "good" criminals. ( I promise there will be a blog post on the review of the special once I get a chance to watch it!)

Since around middle school age, I have had a fascination with rock climbing...I used to get climbing magazines and marvel at the ability of the pro climbers. This Christmas, my sis-in-laws pooled their dough and got me all the climbing gear I need to get started...climbing shoes that I learned are designed to stuff your foot into a shoe size 2 sizes smaller than your feet...ideal for climbing and being able to embed your toes, awful for walking...a harness and chalk bag....Eel (Eli, my bro-in-law) also gave me a not so formal present with his blitz belay instruction that helped my pass the belay test as if I had actually taken the required belay class...This is a picture of one of my first climbs in my new gear on a 5.9 problem. (That's pretty simple, but as high as I've gotten so far):

I know that this gift will be one of my favorites for a long time, because even now I have the itch to climb. The deal though is that the climbing gym cost a bunch of bones ( so I am collecting funds for the membership fee if any readers feel drawn to contribute!)

How'd you make out on gifts?

"Jeesh"

2009-12-20T23:11:00.004-05:00

This is Merrick's Bible

"Daddy, oooh...reee...Jeesh...book!!" That is the coolest demand that a daddy could hear from a two year old who is as high-strung, wide-open as they come. As I was reading about Jesus walking on water to him tonight, he kissed the picture of Jesus, and pointed emphatically to the "airpane in wada!" (I suppose the boat resembled an airplane to him with the sails.) When we finished we then had to "oh pray Jeesh!" I once read that parents are ambassadors of Jesus to their children--that all parenting is directed at respect, love, adoration, and worship of Jesus--theoretically it takes the pressure off of the parent, because a child's obedience is ultimately not towards the parent but Jesus....Theoretically is the key word...It is quite astounding how in a mere two years, I can rattle off a long list of regrets in my parenting habits. And though as a two year old, Merrick will only *accidentally* obey 1 of 10 requests of his mommy and I, and will hold the broccoli in his mouth for two hours, and smack people in the face, and scream until veins pop out of his head in the middle of the mall, etc. etc. etc. I am humbled at his love for Jesus who he knows as Jeesh who we talk to before meals and sleeping (he has even asked me to "oh pray" when he wakes up in the middle of the night). I am humbled that Jesus has given Austin-Lee and I the grace that is Merrick Wilder and the grace that is his two-year old love of the God of the Universe. My own love and passion for Jesus will equip me to be Christ's ambassador to Wild, and He has already given me a jump on the task.

"At that time Jesus said, "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure" (Matt 11:25-26).

Normal Life Makes Me Delirious

2009-12-17T22:30:00.003-05:00

PRESS PLAY AND ENJOY :)

Junkies For Fame (Single Versi...

Sunset, Broadway, are all the streets I like
Neon, billboards, that make me feel alive
I don't think they take me serious
Normal life makes me delirious

Ever think you changing your name?
For all the attention you could gain...
Has anybody told you you're vain?
Bow down, bow down
The sinners have the floor

Are we just junkies for fame?
Because it's burned in our brains
When we wake up that we need it to stay up
You know I like it... I've always been a junkie for fame
Are we just junkies for fame?

Get rich, get high, get drunk on your desire
Stand back, relax, now watch me start a fire
I don't think they take me serious
Normal life makes me delirious

Ever think you changing your name?
For all the attention you could gain...
Has anybody told you you're vain?
Bow down, bow down
The sinners have the floor

Are we just junkies for fame?
Because it's burned in our brains
When we wake up that we need it to stay up
You know I like it... I've always been a junkie for fame
Are we just junkies for fame?

Why?... Why?

Ever think of changing your name?
So everyone will think you're a saint
Anybody told you you ain't?
Bow down, bow down
The sinners want some more

Are we just junkies for fame?
Because it's burned in our brains when we wake up
That we need it to stay up
You know I like it... I've always been a junkie for fame
Are we just junkies for fame?

Because it's burned in our brains when we wake up
That we need it to stay up
You know I like it... I've always been a junkie for fame

Are we just junkies for fame?
Are we just junkies for fame?
Are we just junkies for fame?
Are we just junkies for fame?

If you spend any significant time in conversation with me, you'll find out I'm a die-hard fan of the band, Shinedown. Lead man, Brent Smith's voice and lyrics have resonated with my inexpressible feelings at particularly weird and difficult times. The songs are hard hitting with raw reactions to life, sin, and relationships. Smith, recently clean of some pretty nasty drug addictions, often claims that his writing has been cathartic and simply, cheaper than therapy. His lyrics have helped me confront some of my own personal addictions and size them for up what they really are. (By the way, we are all addicted to something in some degree or another...most of us, it's simply addiction to our ego...I am moment to moment working to an irreversible addiction to Jesus and His Church.) Continuing...REAL fans (which I pride myself on) of Shinedown are familiar with more than just their number 1 hit, "Second Chance." True fans are familiar with the even the song above, "Junkies For Fame" which is a satirical portrayal of famous people bowing to "sinners" who have made them who they are. (Shinedown's gratitude for their fans is one of intensity and consistency.) Ok, now that I've stupidly idolized this band, let me get to the point.

Maybe you don't identify, but I think that on some level, people all are junkies for fame...a junkie is being an addict...fame is approval, attention, success, AND DRAMA...even you, Christ follower. "Normal life makes me delirious." Can you recall the last time you were wholly content with every aspect of your circumstances? In my relationship to Jesus, it's not that I don't want to grow and improve my thoughts, actions, speech, and heart, but I want to be content where and who I am on my journey with Christ. I want to not need the "fix" of scrapping for people's approval, but HIS approval. When we seek His approval, we'll become junkies for His fame. Let me show you something that will blow your mind when you become a junkie for His fame:

32And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel and the prophets, 33who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, 34quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies. 35Women received back their dead, raised to life again. Others were tortured and refused to be released, so that they might gain a better resurrection. 36Some faced jeers and flogging, while still others were chained and put in prison. 37They were stoned; they were sawed in two; they were put to death by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated— 38the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, and in caves and holes in the ground.

You see how some of the believers shut the mouths of lions (glorious things) and some were cut in two (yeah not so glorious) BUT CHECK THIS OUT:

39These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. 40God had planned something BETTER for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect. (Hebrews 11:32-40)

Being apart of Jesus' movement called the Church...being obsessed with, in love with, a junkie for His fame and His Bride promises all the approval and drama a person can stand.

Verbs are Cooler than Nouns

2009-12-14T22:34:00.022-05:00

I'm reading the book called THE SHACK. Maybe you have read it. Maybe you have heard rave reviews or maybe you have heard the cursing of the book. I am definitely not the first or last to spit about this book. One element of the story is the portrayal of the Trinity as a big black lady named Papa as the Father, a man of middle Eastern descent as the Son, and a little Asian woman named Sarayu as the Spirit. UNDERSTAND THIS and put in that mush pooling in your skull: all portrayals and analogies of the Trinity ultimately fall apart and introduce a less that perfect perception of God...period...I think God intends it to be that way, so that we don't get cocky. He remains a beautiful mystery that we progressively experience as we live in relationship with the Son, Jesus. I get that people can commit the heresy of Modalism or the sin of making God into a graven image from the images stirred by reading this book. BUT, (and "but" is the strongest word in the English language, because it subordinates the prior statement to the following statement.) if you can wrap your brain around the fact that we will never accurately describe the Trinity, you can still acknowledge that there are invaluable truths in Mack's experience at the shack. I honestly and wholly think that if the Church would embrace particular concepts in this book, we would lead countless people far from Christ into abundant life in Him. Oh and people that already associate themselves to the person of Jesus, would actually live that abundant life instead of ones mauled by judgmental attitudes, relentless addictions, petty lies, dead relationships, and on and on.

At one point Sarayu tells Mack that God much prefers a verb to a noun. For example: Responsding instead of responsibility and expecting instead of expectation. Jesus desires for us to live our lives moment to moment in RESPONSE to his endless, creative goodness rather than being burdened with the guilt of HAVING to be a "clean Christian." Responsibility requires us to fake it, to grit our teeth to just get through the the weight of the world. Responding to Jesus, however, enables us to acknowledge I'm not strong enough, pretty enough, smart enough, nice enough, wealthy enough...that my swagger and humor sometimes are annoying...but Jesus makes up for it...He has called us from death to life--HIS LIFE in us. Expectations deplete us, but expectancy motivates and invigorates us to deep creativity. I remember as a freshman in high school chasing my wife who was in college, and the expectancy of time with her drove me freakin nuts all week. Expectations and responsibility usurp life and love replacing it with resentment and numbness--believe me, I know this all too well and it hurts, but God is counting down our encounters in expectancy until I am I just "get it" (You have to read The Shack to get this).

Imagine a community of sinner/saints who move in expecting response to the goodness of Jesus? Your mind is exploding isn't it?

Wrap me in a bolt of lightning
Send me on my way still smiling
Maybe that's the way I should go,
Straight into the mouth of the unknown

Never Give One Back

2009-12-12T22:33:00.013-05:00

Jeep recently broadcasted this commercial, and it inspired me to be a Jeep...ish...I mean to be a better me. I am winding down to the last few days of my master's class to finally earn my MAR in Church Ministries. And then more time. More time. A phantom thought, because it's all about perspective. There is a thermodynamic concept that I learned in a communications theory class a few years back that I find functionally haunts me everyday. ENTROPY: basically everything deteriorates without intentional action against it--that is everything from muscle tone, relationships, and maintenance free siding. "Maintenance free" is bull. I figure without having to always be aware of discussion board forums and scholarly, peer-reviewed journals, I will devote my "new time" to things that matter: romancing my wife...enjoying/teaching my rats (kids)...developing a new hobby--climbing. I figure the best way to counter the entropy in those areas is to initiate this transition in the Word. A few weeks back, Pastor Furtick tweeted that he had just finished his 90 day journey through the entire Bible with Elevation Church. 90 days?!?!? Whoa, I've heard of yearly plans, but 3 months? That's intense. So I Googled a 90-Day Bible Reading Schedule. Sooo...if you ask my wife, I'm an extremist to a fault, and after watching the jeep video, I'm gonna amp it up and see if I can do this deal in half the time...yes, the entire Bible in a month in a half...who wants to go in with me? I'm gonna start this Monday, and I know my efforts will not return void. I also know that I might have to get up earlier (maybe a lot earlier) because I'm not gonna neglect the rest of my priorities (don't worry Shooter). If you are consider this, consider just what you will be saturating yourself in:

The Bible is 1 Book - made up of 66 books.
It has 39 in the Old Testament & 27 in the New Testament
It has 40+ Authors who are from all walks of life from 13 different countries on 3 different continents.
It is written in 3 different languages.
From it's earliest writings to the latest writings, there is a 1,600 year time period.
Put it all together and you get:
1 theme: - Redemption of Man
1 hero: - Jesus Christ
1 villain: - the devil
1 purpose: - the glory of God!

Greedily, rightfully seize every ticking moment, and never give one back.

...From the Hands of Time

2009-12-11T22:39:00.004-05:00

Here I am...in the realm of blogs...but now as a blogger myself. I'm gonna give this a try, since I have made it a daily routine to saturate myself in the blogs of everybody else. I'm suppressing this idea that blogging is a competitive thing, because I'm afraid I'll never inspire and entertain like some of my favorite bloggers like Pastor Steven Furtick, Perry Noble, Rob Shepherd or the gorgeous author of BunchofBarrons. Even if I am slow to gain any followers, I'm sure blogging will be a cathartic, creativity-stimulating thing for me, or at minimum another venue for me to repackage the brilliance of others. I have had the tendency in my career of writing scholarly research papers to be rather wordy. So, at the advice of my wife and even some professors, I'll try and be more conversational as I blog. A note on the title, "Steal the Rush": I stole it. Not from another blog or website but from a lyric from a song by none other than Shinedown. The lyric reads,

Even now you hide behind
Those imitations in your mind
Through every act
From the middle to the end
You have played the part as your only friend
You steal the rush
From the hands of time
And they'll never catch up with you

Life often is a blur, so I intend to write as a way to slow down or steal the rush and linger on a concept, experience, Scripture verse, quote, video, obsession, gripe, or a person...and on and on. So here we go...

Steal The Rush

Ask Me Why I'm Geeked Out

Jesus=Shock Value

The Most Interesting Man in the World (most Tweetable quotes)

Paracord Preoccupation

Tangierman Love 'em Some Pigskin

Layers of Meaning

Porcellana Signora

The Gospel Gecko...yeah I'm talking about the Geico Gecko

Extraneous Cranius (or something)

Adrenaline Junkies are a Dime a Dozen

Tears (Número Dos)

There is an Irony in Tears

New Jam

Some idols are carved out of wood or gold...mine comes in the form of coaches polls, computer ratings, hard hits, and bragging rights.

Look at the Light Beyond the Thing

This could be as big as "Pants on the Gound"!!

Put A Bullet In It

Think of All The Things You Can Throw a Rock At?

Jesus: the Ace of all Aces

How Could You Say No To This Face?

Boom Lay, Boom Lay, Boom!

In Him, part 1

"Happy To You"

First on the Scene

19,510 Days Left

White Dude Standing on the Wall

10k PR: 49:42

Mommy, the troll is talking to me and starting to scare me

Happy Monday

Merrick rocks out "Pants on the Ground"

A Cold, Dark Display of Mercy

Where Science ends, FRINGE Begins

Pollen Sucks

I was smoked by a leprechaun, an 8 year old boy, and a Stormtrooper *pulling an inflated Deathstar!*

The Irony of Truth

Atrophy

"Remember Me"...you won't forget it

Her Name is Alice

Hack Your Mind

Cow Tippin'

Last Stand

Rockin' Pink

Shadows

"Sparta!"...eh, not really.

And Make It a Melody

Get The Man

Aim Small, Miss Small

BirdMan

Since Christmas Isn't About Giving...

"Jeesh"

Normal Life Makes Me Delirious

Verbs are Cooler than Nouns

Never Give One Back

...From the Hands of Time

I was smoked by a leprechaun, an 8 year old boy, and a Stormtrooper pulling an inflated Deathstar!